Sales

Body Language is the silent signals we use to communicate and has changed very little over the last 100,000 years. Modern society sees words as the main source of communication between humans and much of our education focuses on the correct use of words to get the message across.

When communicating any attitude or feeling, however, words only amount to 7% of what it takes to communicate, body language accounts for a massive 55% and tone accounts for the rest, so your body language is communicating for you whether you like it or not.

Not only do you use body language to communicate to others. Studies have shown that your body language is constantly communicating to yourself and you are able to change how you feel by simply changing your body language

To give you examples of how this works consider the following:

Imagine you are feeling depressed. When you are depressed you will take up the sort of body language that will reflect that feeling. Your shoulders go down, your head goes down, you slump into a chair, you fold your arms, your face sulks and you mumble. This would be a typical position for someone who is feeling depressed. If you were to take this position now as you are reading this article you will begin to feel depressed, even though you have nothing to feel depressed about.

Now look up, pull your shoulders back, sit upright, open your eyes wide unfold your arms and smile and the depression goes away. It is impossible to be depressed with this sort of body language.

Briefly we will be looking in this section at some body language gestures and considering what they mean, but don’t forget they are communicating with yourself as much as they are to other people.

To develop your self confidence, consider the following:

1. Always smile when you meet people. The smile says that you are a really nice person and you are looking forward to the meeting. When you smile at people, they will smile back and that is not a bad way to start. Smiles also release endorphins (the feel good hormone) into the body so smiles will make you feel good as well.

When you smile make sure you really mean it. Just pushing up the lips is not enough. When you smile, your eyes get bigger, your pupils get bigger, you get little laugh lines at the side of your eyes, your lips go up, your cheeks go red and you get two puffy little bags under your eyes. Have a look in the mirror and try a really big smile, then use that smile when you meet people.

2. Get eye contact. You may be shy and look away when you meet people but this will encourage the person you are meeting to feel you have something to hide and they will not trust you. Get eye contact and you will feel more self confident. Your pupils actually get bigger when you look at something you like and we know, subconsciously, to look for that when we meet people.

3. Don’t fold your arms. Arms folded in front of you will suggest that you are nervous or you have something to hide. People who are feeling defensive will often take up this posture. Have you noticed at parties where people don’t know each other, they will stand with their back to a wall, with their arms and often legs crossed. Have you ever tried to party like this? It’s not possible! The party will only get going when people begin to uncross their legs and arms, then they will feel more confident and ready to party.

The semi arm fold is nearly as bad and very common. The semi arm fold is when you hold your hands together in front of you or when your clasp your handbag or a glass. This is still a defensive gesture and should be avoided.

4. When meeting people always shake their hand. I am a hugger personally and I like to hug everybody I meet. Some people find this difficult but everybody can shake a hand. This form of touch is very important and creates a good basis for a relationship. Some women are not used to hand shaking and there is sometimes confusion as to whether they are shakers or not. To solve this uncertainty always put your hand out to be shaken. This will give you great confidence.

Finally remember this. You will be as confident as your body language lets you be and your body language is not only convincing yourself, it is also convincing other people. When walking in a difficult part of town if you look like you are frightened of being mugged; you probably will be. It has long been known that muggers will not attack people who stand upright, walk purposefully and exude confidence. The same is true when you walk into a room full of people you don’t know. Stand up, walk in with purpose and look good and people will be attracted to come over and talk to you.